(Not) A Wonder Woman

For most people, even the next ones, I always come up as the strong girl, who can go through anything.  Maybe it's because of my strong willed & stubborn character. I can handle every situation, no matter how hard it is. I can always survive without any bruises.

Sometimes I wonder, if being "strong" somehow could be a curse for myself.

And sometimes I feel, people can do whatever they like with me because they thought I am strong enough to accept it.

They thought...

For those who really think so, here are some explanation for you:

No, it is not right to let me down over and over again.
And yes, it's upsetting me when you put someone before me over and over again.
No, I am not okay being "alone" with all the things I have to do.
And yes, sometimes I am tired too doing all the things all by myself.
I am independent, I always am. But once in a while, I do need someone, who is there for me, whenever I need him.

If I said nothing, it doesn't mean that it is okay with me. I am only not that kind of person who complains, who put everything in a big drama.

I don't want to be the first priority in your life. But, maybe next time you can ask, how I feel, what I need.

Just please don't take me for granted, because I am not.

"My Mom is My Hero"

Today I have asked my student - an 8th grader young boy - to write an essay about his family. After he finished, I asked him to read it loudly. As he came to the part about his mother, it has fascinated me: He said: My mom is my hero.

It fascinated and touched me at the same time. It fascinated me that a 13 years old boy even says that his mother is his hero. It touched me more because this 13 years old young boy is a kind of boy, who seems not to care about anything. Like mostly other teen boys in his age, he is careless, he has nothing in his mind but skating and dancing. He is clumsy and he likes to tease his little sister. He also sometime makes some problems at school.

My mother is my hero. How many kids can openly say that? How many kids say and mean it truly?

I think deep down inside our heart, we all must admit that our mother really are our first hero. Especially if you are a mother yourself, you would know that being a mother really need a hero quality with super power!

But still, we must also remember that nobody's perfect. Even moms are not perfect. They too sometimes make mistake. They too sometimes have bad days.

As a son/daughter just appreciate your mom, forgive and learn from their mistake. Be proud and love them whatever they do. Remind them if they are forgetting something. Explain if there are missunderstanding.

And if you are a mother, remember that the joy, pain, happiness and all the feeling you feel now are exactly what your mother had with you once... Or still...

Finding Out Friendship

Once, I took every friendship very seriously. For me "good friend" is very important and being with them all the time is a must. I often felt left behind and forgotten, if I miss any event with them. That was in my teenager time.

Later on, friends were being a family. Understandable, if you were all by youself in a foreign country and had to struggle to survive. Friends were the only things you have to hold on, to share and to stand by each other.

Lately, the amount of "good friends" are reduced to some "best friends" I could count with both hand's fingers. They are friends, who really are always be with me, stands by me in my good and bad times, who knows me perfectly better and worse. Them, I can tell anything, talk about everything. Some of them I already knew my whole life, some I've just met. I am always thankful for having them. As one quote says: God sent every of us an angel, and we call them "friend". They are for me: Angels.

Now, the "best friends" are selected as well. It's not that I am forgetting nor leaving them, but as the priority in live has changed, so is the choice of "friends". I now choose friends with benefits only. Benefits means that they are sharing the same purpose in life have the same thoughts and the most important thing: have the same priority. It is now about growing together and be strong together.

Friends to have fun with are nice to have, but friends to have success with is more important to have.

Me-Time, My Time

The 10 minutes I have every morning is very precious. It is the time where I have a little time to recharge myself: sipping on my coffee, munching on my breakfast and doing some check on my soc-med. 10 minutes seem short, still it is priceless.

After the birth of my son, I learnt to appreciate and accept my time. Especially the "me-times". It is not easy to find some escape from the daily mommy-wifey-teacher time, and if I could have some, even only for 5-10 minutes, it is already heaven.

And sometimes I really have to "escape" in the real word meaning. Try to find some "holes" in the schedule, maybe also to compress some appointment, so that I can have a little time to enjoy my tripple chocolate donut and a cup of cappucinno.

A friend of mine once said: the tips to have a balanced life between work and family is to be good to ourselves. Treat yourself well with good food, relaxing massage, beauty spa, buy some fancy clothes or whatever you think it could do you better. I already did some. It did do me good, but still sometimes the guilty feeling knocks on the conscience. Is it okay to leave my son at home while I have some window shopping in the mall? Is it okay if I sit in a cafe, finally have the time to read my book?

Moreover I think, better to have some short "me-time" and we come  back with new energy and better mood, than give it up and be a cranky mom and evil wife all the time.

Again, life is a choice. Use both your heart and mind while choosing.

Three Simple Words

"There are only three words needed to keep a happy marriage: please, thank you & sorry" ~ Pope Fransiskus

I added: those three words should be also present in every relationship we have in life, not only in a marriage.

Unfortunately, those words are becoming very rare, almost forgotten. Words, that are so simple, that people almost forget.

How many times did you say please to the waiter in restaurant, who served you? How many times did you say thank you to your house assistant for cooking your dinner or washing your laundry? How many times you did you say sorry to your child because you yelled at them?

Three simple words, so simple, that actually we could say them automatically, without losing their meaning.

Three simple words, but shows a lot of appreciation, acceptance & respect.

Three simple words: I am sorry if I am wrong, but please consider this as a reminder to all of us & thank you for your time reading my blog ^_^

Communicate... And Empathize

One of the subject at the uni I remembered most is communication management. Then, I never thought communication is that important, so people have to extra learnt it as a special subject. We are used to take communciation as it is, take it for granted in our live, just like breathing.

But during the lesson, I realized, that communication really is important. And there is many things you can and must learn to make and have better communication with people around us. There are points, there are even rules to communicate.

One of the most important is the four-sides-models or the four-ears-models. According to this model every message has four facets though not the same emphasis might be put on each. The four sides of the message are fact, self-revealing, relationship, and appeal.
The communication square describes that every communication has a content and a relationship aspect, and that every information contains something about the matter, the sender and the receiver.

If you want to know more here is the link where you can read the detailed information.

The point is, often we have argumentation or even fight with people because of some missunderstanding. That is why we shoul not only use our physical ears to communicate, but also the four-ears-models above.

One more thing that every person also should have in any relationship, is empathy. If we are able to put ourselves in other person's situation, there will be more respect to each other.

Simple Past

Meeting someone from the past can either bring the wonderful memories back or maybe give a stab in your heart because the memories were too painful.

Either way, I think it is very important to always keep touch with all people we have met or had relationship with in the past. Assuming, the other person want it too.

I never believe in coincidence. I always believe that everything happened for a reason. So is with meeting all the people in my life. They surely gave me some lessons some good, some bad, but I do learn something.

Either way, don't let the past overcome our present or even future. The past should be left there where it belongs: in the past.