(Not) A Wonder Woman

For most people, even the next ones, I always come up as the strong girl, who can go through anything.  Maybe it's because of my strong willed & stubborn character. I can handle every situation, no matter how hard it is. I can always survive without any bruises.

Sometimes I wonder, if being "strong" somehow could be a curse for myself.

And sometimes I feel, people can do whatever they like with me because they thought I am strong enough to accept it.

They thought...

For those who really think so, here are some explanation for you:

No, it is not right to let me down over and over again.
And yes, it's upsetting me when you put someone before me over and over again.
No, I am not okay being "alone" with all the things I have to do.
And yes, sometimes I am tired too doing all the things all by myself.
I am independent, I always am. But once in a while, I do need someone, who is there for me, whenever I need him.

If I said nothing, it doesn't mean that it is okay with me. I am only not that kind of person who complains, who put everything in a big drama.

I don't want to be the first priority in your life. But, maybe next time you can ask, how I feel, what I need.

Just please don't take me for granted, because I am not.

Finding Out Friendship

Once, I took every friendship very seriously. For me "good friend" is very important and being with them all the time is a must. I often felt left behind and forgotten, if I miss any event with them. That was in my teenager time.

Later on, friends were being a family. Understandable, if you were all by youself in a foreign country and had to struggle to survive. Friends were the only things you have to hold on, to share and to stand by each other.

Lately, the amount of "good friends" are reduced to some "best friends" I could count with both hand's fingers. They are friends, who really are always be with me, stands by me in my good and bad times, who knows me perfectly better and worse. Them, I can tell anything, talk about everything. Some of them I already knew my whole life, some I've just met. I am always thankful for having them. As one quote says: God sent every of us an angel, and we call them "friend". They are for me: Angels.

Now, the "best friends" are selected as well. It's not that I am forgetting nor leaving them, but as the priority in live has changed, so is the choice of "friends". I now choose friends with benefits only. Benefits means that they are sharing the same purpose in life have the same thoughts and the most important thing: have the same priority. It is now about growing together and be strong together.

Friends to have fun with are nice to have, but friends to have success with is more important to have.

Communicate... And Empathize

One of the subject at the uni I remembered most is communication management. Then, I never thought communication is that important, so people have to extra learnt it as a special subject. We are used to take communciation as it is, take it for granted in our live, just like breathing.

But during the lesson, I realized, that communication really is important. And there is many things you can and must learn to make and have better communication with people around us. There are points, there are even rules to communicate.

One of the most important is the four-sides-models or the four-ears-models. According to this model every message has four facets though not the same emphasis might be put on each. The four sides of the message are fact, self-revealing, relationship, and appeal.
The communication square describes that every communication has a content and a relationship aspect, and that every information contains something about the matter, the sender and the receiver.

If you want to know more here is the link where you can read the detailed information.

The point is, often we have argumentation or even fight with people because of some missunderstanding. That is why we shoul not only use our physical ears to communicate, but also the four-ears-models above.

One more thing that every person also should have in any relationship, is empathy. If we are able to put ourselves in other person's situation, there will be more respect to each other.

Life Is A Choice

In life, sometimes we have to face many choices. That is why setting priority is very important.

I have to cancel a wedding invitation from a good and dear friend. I really feel sad and sorry, and sort of guilty too. But I also know if we push ourselves to come, it will lead to another or maybe a new problem than what we already have now.

Priority means that sometimes we have to disappoint someone - or could be disappointed by someone's decision.

Life is full of choices. And we really should use both heart and mind in making decisions. And whatever your choice is, make sure that it is the right thing for whatever your priority is.