(Not) A Wonder Woman

For most people, even the next ones, I always come up as the strong girl, who can go through anything.  Maybe it's because of my strong willed & stubborn character. I can handle every situation, no matter how hard it is. I can always survive without any bruises.

Sometimes I wonder, if being "strong" somehow could be a curse for myself.

And sometimes I feel, people can do whatever they like with me because they thought I am strong enough to accept it.

They thought...

For those who really think so, here are some explanation for you:

No, it is not right to let me down over and over again.
And yes, it's upsetting me when you put someone before me over and over again.
No, I am not okay being "alone" with all the things I have to do.
And yes, sometimes I am tired too doing all the things all by myself.
I am independent, I always am. But once in a while, I do need someone, who is there for me, whenever I need him.

If I said nothing, it doesn't mean that it is okay with me. I am only not that kind of person who complains, who put everything in a big drama.

I don't want to be the first priority in your life. But, maybe next time you can ask, how I feel, what I need.

Just please don't take me for granted, because I am not.

"My Mom is My Hero"

Today I have asked my student - an 8th grader young boy - to write an essay about his family. After he finished, I asked him to read it loudly. As he came to the part about his mother, it has fascinated me: He said: My mom is my hero.

It fascinated and touched me at the same time. It fascinated me that a 13 years old boy even says that his mother is his hero. It touched me more because this 13 years old young boy is a kind of boy, who seems not to care about anything. Like mostly other teen boys in his age, he is careless, he has nothing in his mind but skating and dancing. He is clumsy and he likes to tease his little sister. He also sometime makes some problems at school.

My mother is my hero. How many kids can openly say that? How many kids say and mean it truly?

I think deep down inside our heart, we all must admit that our mother really are our first hero. Especially if you are a mother yourself, you would know that being a mother really need a hero quality with super power!

But still, we must also remember that nobody's perfect. Even moms are not perfect. They too sometimes make mistake. They too sometimes have bad days.

As a son/daughter just appreciate your mom, forgive and learn from their mistake. Be proud and love them whatever they do. Remind them if they are forgetting something. Explain if there are missunderstanding.

And if you are a mother, remember that the joy, pain, happiness and all the feeling you feel now are exactly what your mother had with you once... Or still...

Finding Out Friendship

Once, I took every friendship very seriously. For me "good friend" is very important and being with them all the time is a must. I often felt left behind and forgotten, if I miss any event with them. That was in my teenager time.

Later on, friends were being a family. Understandable, if you were all by youself in a foreign country and had to struggle to survive. Friends were the only things you have to hold on, to share and to stand by each other.

Lately, the amount of "good friends" are reduced to some "best friends" I could count with both hand's fingers. They are friends, who really are always be with me, stands by me in my good and bad times, who knows me perfectly better and worse. Them, I can tell anything, talk about everything. Some of them I already knew my whole life, some I've just met. I am always thankful for having them. As one quote says: God sent every of us an angel, and we call them "friend". They are for me: Angels.

Now, the "best friends" are selected as well. It's not that I am forgetting nor leaving them, but as the priority in live has changed, so is the choice of "friends". I now choose friends with benefits only. Benefits means that they are sharing the same purpose in life have the same thoughts and the most important thing: have the same priority. It is now about growing together and be strong together.

Friends to have fun with are nice to have, but friends to have success with is more important to have.

Family Ties

Sometimes, it is cheerless moments that bring family together.

My father in law passed away 10 days ago. Exactly on February 28th 2014 in the age of 80. The family from my husband's site is really is a big family. Moreover, they come from all part of Indonesia. It is a kind of multicultural family they have.

I myself know only a few from them. Mostly only the main family member: brothers, sisters, cousins and in-laws.

My father in law came from Flores, an island in eastern Indonesia, from the city of Manggarai. There are many Manggarai people live in Surabaya. They have a very strong community and bounds. By the memorial and funereal you can see, how strong the "family-boundaries" between the "island-people" are

It amazed me somehow, that this kind of strong relationship still exist. They really help with heart, no string attached.

Here I saw that family is beyond bloodlines. That sometime you could find the "real family" outside the lines.

To Love Correctly

Everytime I have a new student, I always feel like I was at my first day at school: excited, a bit nervous and kind of afraid.

New student means new challenge. And the challenge comes not only from the student itself but mostly also from the parents.

Some parents think, that hiring a tutor/private teacher means giving up the responsibility as well. Some parents don't even bother to have a short look in the kid's school book or schedule. But as soon as the kids failed, there is someone else to blame: the (private) teacher.

Other parents just admire their kids too much - and in a wrong way of admiring. The kids are always right. Whatever they say or do, it is the command.

You should love your kids, not spoiling them. Loving them correctly means you have to let them swallow the bitter pills, if they have to, to make them better. Nobody is getting healthy only from sweets and candies. If we're not starting early with the rules, when should it be? If it's already too late?

A Letter for Granny

Dear Granny,

It is already 100 day since you passed away last November. Time flew but the memory of you stays.

You were my strong granny, my naggy granny, my "pride" granny. But in the first place, you were strong, you were independent. I remembered the way you drove, how you ran the house, how you managed the "kost-kostan" business back then.

From you I learnt how to bake, how to cook. From you I learnt how to read, how to love books and how important languages are. From you, I think I also got my strong-will, stuborn charactere.

Today, I still can see you sitting on your chair on the dining table, munching on your favorite cookies. I still can see you walking through the house, closing all the doors or looking for us, your grandchildren.

Today, I still feel sorry, I had not the chance to tell you enough that I do really love you, admire you. I still feel sorry, that we both are so stuborn, that we almost had fight anytime we met.

And I still feel sorry, for that I know you were lonely... You never had the chance to see all your grandchildren together, your grand-grandchildren. I am sure that even you never admitted it or said a word about it, you wished that you could be with all of your family.

Dear Granny,

Wherever you are now, be happy and never be lonely again. I loved you and will always do.

Me-Time, My Time

The 10 minutes I have every morning is very precious. It is the time where I have a little time to recharge myself: sipping on my coffee, munching on my breakfast and doing some check on my soc-med. 10 minutes seem short, still it is priceless.

After the birth of my son, I learnt to appreciate and accept my time. Especially the "me-times". It is not easy to find some escape from the daily mommy-wifey-teacher time, and if I could have some, even only for 5-10 minutes, it is already heaven.

And sometimes I really have to "escape" in the real word meaning. Try to find some "holes" in the schedule, maybe also to compress some appointment, so that I can have a little time to enjoy my tripple chocolate donut and a cup of cappucinno.

A friend of mine once said: the tips to have a balanced life between work and family is to be good to ourselves. Treat yourself well with good food, relaxing massage, beauty spa, buy some fancy clothes or whatever you think it could do you better. I already did some. It did do me good, but still sometimes the guilty feeling knocks on the conscience. Is it okay to leave my son at home while I have some window shopping in the mall? Is it okay if I sit in a cafe, finally have the time to read my book?

Moreover I think, better to have some short "me-time" and we come  back with new energy and better mood, than give it up and be a cranky mom and evil wife all the time.

Again, life is a choice. Use both your heart and mind while choosing.